L-Dubz's "Secret Project #3" REVEALED!

Well this took a lot longer to put together than I intended :S sorry about the wait folks.

First off, you should all know that after "Tales of The E.P.O.C.H. Issue 00" I really felt like doing something light-hearted, comedic even, and after going around SWTOR.com's forums for a bit and finding it full mainly of haters / complainers or people who take things WAY too seriously, I felt it might be a good time to try and lighten up the mood of the place.

So I thought to myself "what to do?" and although it wasn't immediately obvious, one of the many random late-night chat conversations I had with Sure, PJK - and I think Charada on this occassion came round to the fact that the guild seems to have its fair quota of "hot chicks".

So, knowing full well that one of the easiest things to do in DazStudio is make 'classically pretty' women, I suggested we should promote the guild in that manner somehow.

What began as a joke formulated as a rather clever and funny recruitment drive wrapped up to look like something entirely different.

The result was a Star-Wars Parody, or more specifically an "E.P.O.C.H. Parody", something so far outside the characters usual bounds that it was just silly.

What came about was a SWIMSUIT CALENDAR.

You know the types, those somewhat trashy ones they do to "show off the swimsuits" (yeah, like anybody is actually paying attention to those..)

So what I've done is 12 pages, one for each month of the year, to create a "2010" usable calendar (silly, yet practical - I've already printed mine ) with each month representing one of the "Girls of EPOCH" (except December, thats a....special case!) I've also done a little comedy bio about each character which picks up on some of their personality and skews it horribly into a mockery of what the character is about.

What I plan to do is release this to our site in two chunks.
Tonight (03/04 November 09) I will be showing you months Jan - Jun and on Thursday or Friday (05/06 November 09) I'll put up months Jul - Dec as well as the front cover and back cover.

I'll be launching it onto SWTOR on the weekend, in smaller chunks of 2 months per week.

Desribed below in "quotation" boxes is what will appear on SWTOR.com, though there will also be an "explanation / disclaimer" included as well for anyone who can't take a joke (there will be some, I'm sure...)

So, without futher ado, I (quite proudly, actually!) present:

Save-a-Jawa Foundation present The E.P.O.C.H. 2010 Swimsuit Calendar!

Quote :

'It is a common misconception across the Galaxy that the peaceful fun-loving Jawa are a nomadic people, enjoying a life of travel and commerce but this is not the case! Through a lack of clear linguistical communication with these poor, misunderstood people many Jawa are homeless, forced to travel from place to place scavenging what they can just to survive.
But YOU can help.
By donating just 4 credits a month to us at 'Save-A-Jawa Foundation', we can ensure your money can help clothe and feed a family of Jawa for a standard galactic month!
Your 4c will buy clothes, food and various electronic nick-knacks and stun batons that you and I take for granted but could change the life of a Jawa.
* Screen flickers to a Jawa waving furiously in front of a rather obvious cut-out of a Sand-crawler, the barrel of a rifle just slightly in camera shot on the far left *
Like little 'Wik-Wak' here, your money will help turn around the life of some dejected, neglected Jawa and turn them into a member of the thriving Galactic Community!
Act now! Reply to the number at the end of this Holovid and know that you helped save-a-jawa!'

Shortly followed by:

Quote :

'SPECIAL OFFER! Act now and receive an exclusive FREE “E.P.O.C.H. Swimsuit Calendar”!
For a limited time only 'Save-A-Jawa Foundation' have teamed up with 'The Man With The Plan Inc' to bring you an exclusive and rather 'risqué' calendar of the normally elusive and secretive members of The Agents of The E.P.O.C.H.
(Please see below for holographic image previews)
HURRY! While stocks last!'

FRONT COVER

(Thanks to Sure for the cool-as-hell-logos )

MISS JANUARY

Quote :

'About Miss January'

Pilot, gambler, smuggler, racer and vixen; Ree'tak is the friendly and approachable Twi'lek entrepreneur within The E.P.O.C.H. Agency and despite her reputation for being involved in "less than legal" activities, she proudly points out that she is wanted on less than 100 worlds across the Galaxy now, a drop of over 80% on last year. Whereabouts unknown.

MISS FEBRUARY

Quote :

'About Miss February'

Aleena Fel (or Darth Fel on Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays) is one of the newer members of the Agency but prides herself on her negotiation skills, force-choke powers and the fact she can eat 36 Alderaanian Blood-Eggs before vomiting. Born on Hapan Aleena is genetically modified to be beautiful but often ends up scaring people off with her 'evil sith eyes' and somewhat suspiciously gray skin.

MISS MARCH

Quote :

'About Miss March'

A dancer at the première Coruscant club 'The Hyperion', Keylara Lasena is one of the few women from the planet Lorrd who has not been arrested when visiting other worlds for saying “hello” using body language which equates in the local tongue to “I have just sold you grandmother to Sand People.” She can do marvellous things with poles.

MISS APRIL

Quote :

'About Miss April'

The feisty head barkeep at The Hyperion, Tiana is a member of the Zeltron species, able to affect others around her by the use of pheromones, suggestion and empathy. Despite these unique talents, she has not been able to get a salary raise in four years. With a deep pink complexion and dark purple hair she has been voted “Most Desirable Umpa-Lumpa Pinup” for seven years running.

MISS MAY

Quote :

'About Miss May'

Sassy, sexy and somewhat unhinged, the fiery redhead known as Lilin-Duana Hylo has a mysterious past and a sinister fascination with gardens. Equally at ease with blaster or light-saber, 'Miss May' has an almost supernatural ability to rip through swathes of enemies, downing many an opponent without getting the slightest trace of gore on her outfit or a hair out of place. Be careful before you challenge her, she'll likely beat you.....and she'll look classy doing it.

MISS JUNE

Quote :

'About Miss June'

If the E.P.O.C.H. is a secret organisation then Miss Malindrll Mdybo is the personification of that elusiveness. An Etti of almost incomparable knowledge, she acts as the administrator, secretary, database manager and liaison to the Agency and only their mysterious leader has met her and lived to say about it, leaving even the Agency's own members wondering if she exists.
Our photographer was shot shortly after this image was taken for security reasons.

MISS JULY

Quote :

'About Miss July'

Shadowy and mysterious, nobody at E.P.O.C.H. is 100% sure if Rin even works for us or not. Evidence was found that she may have been at the last Christmas Party, but only because the boffins can't disprove that the image in the holocopier might be a shiny cranium rather than the traditional twin-buttock combo..
Rin is very likely to be what you heard go “bump in the night”, shortly followed by what you heard complaining about sharp things being left out on the floor.

MISS AUGUST

Quote :

'About Miss August'

Lithe, fast, powerful and beautiful Renia likes nothing more than to challenge her skills against ever more dangerous and deadly opponents. To date she has only lost three major contests, being a difficult fisticuffs melee against the spirit of Freedon Nadd, a particularly hazardous game of twister with Jedi Master Vandar Tokare and a stare-down versus the Star Forge (though Vais still contests that she did in fact win this last one and that the gargantuan orbital platform 'blinked').
Vais did all of Aeon Flux's stunts.

MISS SEPTEMBER

Quote :

'About Miss September'

Another favourite dancer at The Hyperion Club, the young Falleen known as Zione is new to the circuit but is still finding her way seeming shy and almost coy at times. Despite this she is no stranger to controversy having caused no less than six cardiac failures in various patrons of the club using her 'unique' dancing style in the last year as well as successfully avoiding Coruscant law enforcement officers for sixteen consecutive days by hiding in one of upper Coruscant's imported botanical gardens. Rumours circulate that she is even in partnership with the elusive and deadly galactic arch-villain, one K.T.Frog.
She finds it easy Being Green.

MISS OCTOBER

Quote :

'About Miss October'

Born with all the privilege and wealth one could ever want, Xen gave it up to go hunting Jedi after handing over the entire family fortune to some wandering space-bum. With excessive homicidal and sociopathic tendencies as well as displaying many traits that point toward serial-killer behaviour, Coruscant experts have come to the learned conclusion that she is 'a freaking nutjob.'
Xen enjoys long walks in Sith tombs, disembowelling random passers-by and double-choc fudge Hagan-Das ice-cream.

MISS NOVEMBER

Quote :

'About Miss November'

Aggressive and predatory, Sachni is a consummate hunter able to track her prey across any distance and through any hardship – so long as its not raining on interfering with one of her 22 daily naps. She can sleep just about anywhere and has found of late that she has a fascination with chasing smaller, furry prey but finds she doesn't know what to do with them when she catches them. Able to bench-press a small land-speeder, she is nevertheless 'all woman' (well, 90%).
She'll do anything for some WD-40 and a Kit-Kat.

"MISS" DECEMBER

Quote :

'About “Miss” December'

Voted “Individual Most Likely To Cause An Intergalactic Incident” by 'Annual Senate Times', Creed Dekkar is a bravdo, ladies' man, gunslinger and special agent renowned for his skill at actually bringing in a mark rather than reporting yet another unfortunate 'airlock incident'.
Creed can currently be seen on the front cover of the “Most Inappropriate Role-Models Special” of 'Hair & Goggles Monthly'.

Wowzers, looking good there mate. By the way if you need anymore wording done in PS then let me know mate. I'll quite happily get some done for you.

Haha! Bloody marvelous! I love the "Save-a-Jawa Foundation" preamble with the dodgy footage^^

This must have taken you aaaages, but the wait has really been worth it. I think it'll go down a storm on the SWTOR.com website (and maybe attract a few other pervs to check out the guild! lol).

I know I'm biassed but Miss May has to be my favorite so far! And that blurb is fantastic^^

L-Dubz wrote:

...Lilin-Duana Hylo has a mysterious past and a sinister fascination with gardens.

Love it!

I was wondering will we be able to get these in larger sizes at all? I want them as my desktop background each month.

@ Harewood: Cheers Hare! I tried to come up with a Bio to explain a little about each of them, or rather a side of them thats not normally covered, glad ye approve ...not sure how Tiana would like to be referred to as
“Most Desirable Umpa-Lumpa Pinup” though,

@ Sure: I'm not certain so far there seems to be no way to alter the size of the .jpg that is created from Daz Studio, which is kinda bizarre. Blowing the image up on Photoshop doesn't work either as it lowers the quality.

I'm planning on putting all these in a .pdf when done anyway, so I'll see if I can sort it for that release.

Man these are incredible. Ur crazy when it comes to that stuff, Keep up the good work, cant wait to see more

Rasper Karger wrote:

Man these are incredible. Ur crazy when it comes to that stuff, Keep up the good work, cant wait to see more

Cheers Rasper! just please keep it under you hat as I'm not even mentioning it on SWTOR.com till friday

Okie-do, I've put the finished Front Cover up, the rest will be up this evening or tomorrow morning

Wow! That's... purple!

yeah I like purple

Besides, it kinda screamed "pimp" which is what I am going for

OK! That's all the Monthly pages up (as well as the front cover).

All I need to do now is create a back cover to go with it then its ready to be released on SWTOR.com tomorrow night. In an attempt to get people coming back to the thread over there I won't be releasing it all at once, so they'll have a new update each week until the new year when I'll release a Computer-Wallpaper version and printable calendar version just incase anyone wants to actually use it practically.

The updates on SWTOR.com will go like this:

Basically, we have 8 weeks till the new year (well 9, but the last one is like 4 days so I dont count is as a week) and I wanted originally to post up one month/girl per week, but with 12 months to cover the maths doesnt equate so I'm going to do it like this:

Week 1 (this week) = Jan & Feb will be released on SWTOR.com, as well as the Calendar Cover
Week 2 (next week) = Mar & Apr will be released on SWTOR.com
Week 3 = May & June will be released on SWTOR.com
Week 4 = July & August will be released on SWTOR.com
Week 5 = September will be released on SWTOR.com
Week 6 = October will be released on SWTOR.com
Week 7 = Novemeber will be released on SWTOR.com
Week 8 (Xmas Week) = December will be released on SWTOR.com, as well as the back cover.

Hope y'all like it

Well, I'm also planning to print it and stick it to the wall at my dormitory to be honest Very, very nice work. Would definitely refresh my star-wars theme lacking room

They all rock LW great work
Even Creed will impress the few ladies on SWTOR

Brilliant stuff! Have a cup-cake, you clever man --->

On a technical level I think Sachni is an amazing job. I love the colouring and her expression - very feline. That can't have been easy!^^ Remind me, I've been looking over the Mains & Alts thread and the Hyperion (and even stuck my nose into the Evil Wizards RP Wiki) but can't find her anywhere. Who (or whose character, more to the point) is she again?

Awww, cheers for the positive replies, chaps

@ HARE: Sachni is an NPC (though you're correct I've been rubbish and not added her to any alt/npc listing )

She first appeared in the Interactive Story: Urban Predator.

Her appearance in Episode II:

Quote :

It was close to an hour before Sachni appeared, finding Zaraigus in the top sections of the Pavilion watching the performances. Sachni was a strong and athletic Cathar who had lost her mate three years previously when they were sent to retrieve some Mandalorian pirates and bring them to justice. She herself had lost her left arm in the encounter, replaced now with a gleaming silver metal replica that ended in a wicked-looking claw. Even with the inclusion of her prosthetic arm however, Sachni was still attractive and in her prime. Her fur was a dark golden colour with darker, almost black markings, her face and hands drenched from the rain, and her eyes were a similar golden yellow. Standing at a little over six feet in height, she had the body of an athlete and the reactions to match. Wearing a obscuring cloak not unlike the one her bounty-hunting partner wore, she recounted her information to Zaraigus as she outstretched a hand containing her report.

Of course! I remember now. She was ace! Soz Dubz!

Harewood wrote:

Of course! I remember now. She was ace! Soz Dubz!

No worries, she's not got her trademark "Decency-Protecting Towel(tm)", so that understable

Its not only her I need to update in the NPC list, actually... I also need to do

Gideon Larrs
F0R-G3

and I'm sure there are others :S

EDIT: At least I don't need to do Zaraigus, Xen killed him.

Well I have to say it's looking superb mate and the description of Creed had me in stitches! The only fault I can find in it is that he's not a Bounty Hunter. He's more of an Agent or Spy than a BH. Aside from that I love it!!!!

Oh by the way were you still going to write the disclaimer?

I was Chief, yeah - I think although the vast majority of the people on SWTOR.com aren't actually that dense, I need to accomidate for those that are

I can make the last-minuite changes to Creed's December page before releasing it on SWTOR.com tonight if you want? Make him into an Imperial Agent? I'd need to do the same for Rin anyway...

(to be honest I thought he changed from a Smuggler to a Bounty Hunter when we went Sith :S)

Erm is it possible to change him to "Secret Agent" or something similar? I'd rather not have Imperial Agent as I see him as more of a free-spiritd type with connections to the Sith Empire only. Or how about "Special Agent" as thats his role in E.P.O.C.H? I can't honest;y decide!

Yeah sorry for being a pain in the @%&# about it. To be honest I'd rather my Bounty Hunter main was some type of alien than a humanoid. I've still got my fingers crossed for Falleen!!! Don't let me down BioWare!