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| | *** Chuckle *** | |
| | Author | Message |
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Lunarwolf Chief Operative
Number of posts : 6401 Age : 45 Location : Southampton, UK Registration date : 2009-02-23
| Subject: *** Chuckle *** Thu Apr 09, 2009 12:09 am | |
| Normally I find most emails sent to me that are meant to be 'funny' just a drain on my soul, but this one sent to me by my brother actually made me chuckle so I thought I would share.
(Dont worry its not the whole email, just a portion!)
'New Words' for 2008
* SALAD DODGER. An overweight person.
* TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking balls.
* BLAMESTORMING. a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
* SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
* ASSMOSIS. The process by which people advance by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
* SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
* SINBAD. Single working girl. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking an electronic device to get it to work again.
* ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often inappropriate to the problems they were designed to solve. This term is affiliated to the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork.
* GOING FOR A Mc BOG. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, but just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McBog with Lies.
* 404. Someone who's clueless. From the Web error message "404 Not Found" meaning that an cannot be located.
* AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
* OH - NO SECOND. That minuscule fraction of time when you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. hit 'reply all').
* GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
* JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A n adolescent of substandard intelligence, who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants wear to show their level of training.
* MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, extremely impressive viewed from the outside, but there's nothing in there worth seeing.
* MONKEY BATH . A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!".
* MAGIC BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night when you go to the toilet after your 10th pint, and takes away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
* MAGIC TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place early on Saturday morning before you wake up, takes away the stunner you went to bed with, and leaves a 10 pint ugly cow in your bed instead.
* BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home from the pub at 3:00am .
* PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.
I've heard of some of these, but not all of them so I am gonna try and slip them into polite conversation.... I know my boss is definately a Seagull Manager, and I've worn The Beer Coat so many times its just not funny! | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: *** Chuckle *** Thu Apr 09, 2009 12:44 am | |
| You just made my day with these... hehe! So funny and yet so real I definitely need to use those |
| | | Lunarwolf Chief Operative
Number of posts : 6401 Age : 45 Location : Southampton, UK Registration date : 2009-02-23
| Subject: Re: *** Chuckle *** Thu Apr 09, 2009 12:47 am | |
| Every time Sure says he's leaving the chatbox to go have a bath now I'm just gonna assume its a Monkey Bath Love the new Avatar btw, Aliendra (not that the one of Saffron wasnt hawt / sigh ) | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: *** Chuckle *** Thu Apr 09, 2009 12:54 am | |
| - Lunarwolf wrote:
- Every time Sure says he's leaving the chatbox to go have a bath now I'm just gonna assume its a Monkey Bath
Love the new Avatar btw, Aliendra (not that the one of Saffron wasnt hawt / sigh ) Not as hawt as yours though! Heh thanks tho.. I'm just focusing on the echani more nowadays then Aliendra so i felt that i should have an appropriate avatar. I r fre4ky that way ^^ Btw my favourites of those are : * SALAD DODGER. An overweight person. * TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking balls. * BLAMESTORMING. a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. * SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves. * ASSMOSIS. The process by which people advance by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard. and.. Adminisphere.... frigin rocks |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: *** Chuckle *** Thu Apr 09, 2009 6:46 am | |
| * PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking an electronic device to get it to work again. Fantastic! I never knew there was such a poetic name for IT support. |
| | | Sureshot Chief Operative
Number of posts : 5209 Age : 47 Location : Reading, England Registration date : 2009-02-11
| | | | Harlequin2 Veteran Agent
Number of posts : 1887 Age : 29 Registration date : 2009-02-25
| Subject: Re: *** Chuckle *** Fri Apr 10, 2009 8:56 am | |
| Haha! Hilarious! We should add others that we've heard, I'll put in:
* HOTBOX When everyone in a single room smokes so much, that the room is completely filled with smoke, the 2nd hand smoke is choking and it starts to condense on the windows.
And one from the guild:
* A SALAZAR A youth that seems quite mature but disobeys rules, lore, but not his own dad. Continuously tries to annoy others, unknown if on purpose or by mistake. | |
| | | Sureshot Chief Operative
Number of posts : 5209 Age : 47 Location : Reading, England Registration date : 2009-02-11
| Subject: Re: *** Chuckle *** Fri Apr 10, 2009 9:02 am | |
| - Harlequin2 wrote:
* A SALAZAR A youth that seems quite mature but disobeys rules, lore, but not his own dad. Continuously tries to annoy others, unknown if on purpose or by mistake. HAHAHA! Great! | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: *** Chuckle *** Fri Apr 10, 2009 9:26 am | |
| - Harlequin2 wrote:
- Haha! Hilarious! We should add others that we've heard, I'll put in:
* HOTBOX When everyone in a single room smokes so much, that the room is completely filled with smoke, the 2nd hand smoke is choking and it starts to condense on the windows.
Thats my room most of the time... |
| | | Harlequin2 Veteran Agent
Number of posts : 1887 Age : 29 Registration date : 2009-02-25
| Subject: Re: *** Chuckle *** Fri Apr 10, 2009 9:47 am | |
| - Aliendra wrote:
Thats my room most of the time... That's quite worrying You party animal | |
| | | Godjera Registered
Number of posts : 198 Age : 37 Location : Bangoria N.I. Registration date : 2009-03-02
| Subject: Re: *** Chuckle *** Sat Apr 11, 2009 3:55 pm | |
| What about:
Crusty Leprechaun It just sounds disgusting, thus is a good insult.
Smelly Nutella Another word for poo.
Sperm Whale A fat hooker. | |
| | | Sureshot Chief Operative
Number of posts : 5209 Age : 47 Location : Reading, England Registration date : 2009-02-11
| Subject: Re: *** Chuckle *** Sat Apr 11, 2009 5:34 pm | |
| Don't forget my all time favourite:
Badly-Wrapped Kebab: Another word for the fairer sexes nether regions! | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: *** Chuckle *** Sat Apr 11, 2009 6:52 pm | |
| - Sureshot wrote:
- Don't forget my all time favourite:
Badly-Wrapped Kebab: Another word for the fairer sexes nether regions! *Shudder* That's awful!Though if she's wearing skin tight leggins it's called a "camel's hoof". |
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